Beautiful Festivus cards can be had by setting some standard typewriter paper and a box of crayons down in front of your favorite children and asking them to draw wrestlers. Or an aluminum pole. Or anything, really.

I'm growing concerned at the Festivus elitism being expressed here. Isn't buying stuff kind of antithetical to the whole idea? Remember Frank's epiphany while raining blows upon his dolly opponent during the Christmas shopping season! Remember the revelations of 1966!

- strike