What is with people who want to crawl up my ass at 65 miles per hour? Are they lonely? Do they need a team leader or something? If I'm going too slow, why don't they just pass me already?!

Sure, I slow down whenever this happens, to encourage them to go by, but that makes me late to where ever I'm going, and there's always that risk of them smashing in to me as they pass, because, you know, they can't fucking drive.

I want a bumper sticker -- a big one -- that says: "IF YOU KEEP TAILGATING ME I'M JUST GOING TO SLOW DOWN EVEN MORE". I worry that many of them can't read though.