I was ruminating over the fact that I send out a bi-zillion cards at Christmas and get precious little back. Then it hit me - Festivus would be my answer! Next Chrismas, Festivus cards, all with the inscription "I have made a donation to the Human Fund in your name for all perpetuity!
No more $2 cards and expensive stamps - ever! As a matter of fact, the Human Fund will start reimbusing me on my first annual Christmas Vacation! The more cards I send, the more the fund will grow.
What a Festivus Miracle!