Do you want to know why I'm psycho about Christmas? Well *you* have a lot to do with it. Why is what I give you for Christmas never good enough? You've basically raised me to be a neurotic gift giver… I have a hard time enjoying it, and I overanalize it, thanks to you and Dad and all your shitty criticism over the years. (WTF? By the way, who the hell in their right mind criticizes what a *kid* gives???) Thank goodness I have children who are appreciative and grateful and apparently have better manners than their grandparents. I give up… it will be a charitible donation in your name from now on.
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