Miss Festivus

Submitted by 1983nr on 22 December, 2006 - 1:29pm.

So every year my family all gets together to celebrate Festivus a little after the official date since we set aside a whole weekend for it, but this year since we have about 40 people coming we were thinking of hosting a Mr and Miss or Ms. Festivus. I don't have the book to see what the tips or criteria are for juding and am wondering if anyone has any ideas for us to set it up. Any help would be great!

Thanks!!

‹ Festivus party Apparel for Feats of Strength ›

Festivus in Antarctica

Submitted by Anonymous on 24 February, 2008 - 12:28am.

Festivus In Antarctica by a Penguin not named Pavel

A typical airing of the grievances during Festivus goes something like this:

It’s to cold!
Why does it have be so cold?
Why doesn’t Al Gore come down here and bring some of that Global Warming stuff already?
Why does your breath constantly smell like fish heads?
Why can’t you look more like Scarlet Johansson?
Your no Danny DeVetio!
Why is there no bar at Club Penguin? Come on people how can you have a club with no Mai Tais or Piña Colada for penguin sake!!!!

What don’t my wings work?

Why didn’t I leave and go to the big city and become a famous food critic like Pavel did.

Why can’t I have a cool address like this one http://www.pavelthepenguin.com/ and be a big city penguin.

I wish I was Pavel Penguin and could live at http://www.pavelthepenguin.com/

You disappoint me

Submitted by Anonymous on 22 March, 2008 - 3:18am.

You have disappointed me. It's TOO cold. It's not to cold. To cold or not to cold, that is the question? Nay. It's TOO cold. You're a disappointment. I thought you had learned the human language of English but apparently you haven't. Fie on you, flightless fowl. No go and disappoint no more.

This is a cult, I am shocked

Submitted by Anonymous on 7 February, 2008 - 2:10pm.

This is a cult, I am shocked and scared. Leave us alone you freaks!

Festivus King & Queen

Submitted by GBS on 30 December, 2007 - 2:05pm.

My first thought is - The one that can cause the most angst during the Aring of Grivences, possibly combined with the consumption of Festivus libations.
But quite honestly, the host (or the person's house you are meeting at), should be the King & Queen, least you hear about it in the Airing of Grivences...

Remember also you might be chosen for the feats of strength contest.

Miss Festivus

Submitted by Anonymous on 10 January, 2008 - 6:12pm.

I suspect that Miss Festivus could and will be a major event as the holiday becomes more recognized.

Festivus and pole dancing have much in common. Both use a festivus pole which serves as a central theme to the celebration. Both spread the joy by making contributions to the Human Fund. And perhaps because of the type of people attending pole "dances" feats of strength can often be found in evidence between the participants or the Festivus elves that guard the door.

I can see it now. Instead of a parade or football game on TV, some "gentleman's" club can sponsor the Miss Festivus pagent complete with pole dancing, feats of strength in mud and airing of grievences between the Festivus maidens.

Judging by Frank Constanza and Cosmo Kramer would make the celebration that much more special