Happy Festivus 2009!

Husband:
**Please stop leaving wet towels on our bed.
**Why do you tell the kids that you will throw any toys away that they leave around the house when I can see from here that your coat, keys, gloves and some part of an engine are right in the middle of the floor as well?
**Do you have to put muddy things on top of clean things?
Kids:
**Must you argue over Spiderman at every meal?
**Spilled soy milk is also not worth crying over.
**Even if I am not looking directly at you, I can still tell when you are making faces at me.
Mom:
**It wasn't a phase, get over it.
**No, I never really liked your cooking.
**Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES am I willing to go antiquing with you.
Sister:
**I know he was babied by his family, but he's a big boy now, make him get a job.
**Your friends are mean to me when you aren't around.
**I know you cut my doll's head off in 2nd grade.
Self:
**What were you thinking when you cut your hair?
**Do you really need a new pair of boots?
**Is it that you "forget" to do it, or that you really don't want to?